Making of the Men
by Hyvanna
Summary: Spend a day inside Heidi, the water girl's, head, before Host. Then spend a few days inside Jamie's head, after Host. What could happen if you spend most of your life watching people hard at work. Humor; I say Rated T with a few toes over the M line, for suggestive remarks. Enjoy!
1. Spend a day in Heidi's head

**Blame Alkyon for giving me the idea. (You can also find her stories in my faves _*sigh* Ian, _need I say more, didn't think so.) The Host belongs to Mrs. Meyer, I own nothing.**

**MAKING OF THE MEN!**

"Heidi! Water." Jamie's voice sounded odd behind me, between the loud echoes vibrating all around me.

"Huh?" I turned as if in a daze to see him standing inches from me soaked in sweat, breathing hard.

"Water. Can I have some?" He held his bottle out towards me, looking confused at me then down at the bucket, I was nearly spilling over.

"Oh. Water. Right sorry Jamie." I shook my head to clear the fog taking his bottle.

The loud echoing tingeing of pickaxes started up again, my head and eyes drifted towards the sound again. "Thanks Heidi." He playfully slugged my arm.

I turned back watching him as he ran off toward the garden area, in an almost dreamy voice I answered. "Yeah. Sure. No problem."

The pickaxes loud ting drew my attention back down the tunnel once again. I stood frozen back in my daze, each swing of the pickaxes drowning me farthing into the fog.

"Oh good." Kyle breathlessly gasped looking my way, before putting down his pickaxe walking towards me. I couldn't move or think. Kyle, shirtless, sweaty, coming my way with a tired smile. He stopped at the corner where the empty bottles were piled. My throat went dry when he bent to get one off the ground.

"You're a life saver you know." Kyle wiped some sweat off his forehead with an old rag. "Um Heidi?" Kyle smiled holding out his bottle. I took it automatic. "You Okay?" He bent a little to look directly into my eyes.

"F..fine. Why?" I stuttered out, pulling my eyes away from his crunching stomach.

"You don't seem all here today." Kyle took his bottle, leaning back as he started taking deep swigs. In that moment, I wanted to be that water bottle or the water that trailed from the corner of his mouth down his jaw and throat heading to his che... "More." Kyle straightened up holding his bottle out again, and again my hand reached for it quickly, sliding over his strong fingers. "Thanks." He turned jogging back to grab his pickaxe.

"Any time." came out in a cracked squeak.

Jared, Ian and Andy noticed Kyle's return with his water bottle, all three put their pickaxes down walking towards me, bending to grab a bottle. My heart stopped only to pick up double time.

They stood around me shirtless, sweating and smiling. My brain and eyes couldn't focus, my heart threaten to rip out of my ribcage, so it could smack all over the three bodies in front of me, my throat completely dried up, but my body felt hot, cool and wet. Drenched.

"HEIDI! Are you Okay?" Ian's voice soft but frantic.

"Yeah... why?" I stuttered, trying to clear my head again, trying to focus on just him. _Bad idea_ my eyes drifted to above his jeans that hung a little low showing off the triangle stomach muscle between his hip bones.

"Heidi maybe you should go lay down." I felt hot strong fingers on my chin lifting my face up.

"I.. um.. I'm fine." I blinked looking straight into Jared's face, watching his jaw flex. _Strong manly face_. I couldn't help my eyes sliding down to his chest, but his fingers kept my head from going down farther.

"Yeah you don't look so well." I heard Andy, my eyes drifted to him, then to his arms, he was whisking some sweat off of, my head feeling lighter with each whisk. "Want one of us to take you to Doc?"

"Maybe we do need to take her to Doc." Ian agreed, my eyes slid over to meet his eyes. _Wow_ powerful eyes just as powerful as... my eyes shifted farther over to his brother Kyle's back muscles, gleaming with sweat, moving with the sound of his pickaxe. I felt the already light bucket of water fall from my hands but never heard it hit the ground over the pickaxe.

Suddenly I was nestled next to Jared's chest my face inches from his neck. My whole body came to life feeling his arms supporting my legs and back. I watched the lean muscles in his neck flex with each step. My voice was slow and dreamy, even to me. "Where are we going?" I found control over my arms wrapping one around his broad shoulders, and other across my stomach resting my hands on his bare chest. He stunk but a good manly stink, his muscles slick with sweat making my hands slid over them easily with each step he took.

"Maybe she got over heated." Ian questioned from behind us.

"All she was doing was holding the water, well dumping it." Jared stated, his lips parting in a small smile. "Might be getting sick. I got her, go back and get some more of that tunnel dug out Ian."

I watched Ian as he run back toward the tunnels, hollering back."Bring more water on your way back Jared." Jared grunted an OK, the vibration made his pecks move against my side.

I tried to clear my head. "I'm fine, put me down." _Please don't_.

"You look pale and flushed." Jared looked me over, while my heart crashed even harder. I wish I was prettier and had more to offer in the body area, why did I have to be born so mousey and bodiless. I now hate everyone that has ever said I look just like my dad.

He set me down on one of the cots. "I think she is getting sick Doc." Jared turned toward Doc's desk. My eyes followed his back down to his butt deciding to stay there while he walked out.

"So, Heidi, you're getting sick on us?" Doc's sudden loud voice rip me out of my foggy haze.

"No, I'm fine." I bit my bottom lip suddenly embarrassed at myself. He flashed a penlight into my eyes, nose, throat and ears, lightly holding my wrist with just his fingertips.

"Jared seemed to think you are." Doc stepped back cocking his head. "How are you feeling, you look fine other than being pale and flush." He smiled a half-smile before looking at me. "Your pulse is a bit high as well."

My face was burning even hotter. "I was just distracted." Doc seemed to think about that for a while then set next to me with that same smile.

"Anything you like to talk to me about?" The way he said it caught me off guard, I almost bolted from the room but he put his arm around my shoulder to keep me still. "It's OK Heidi. I wont tell anyone anything." He drew his finger criss-cross over his chest.

"I..I..I couldn't stop... I got distracted." I put my head down my ears even started to sting.

"I see." Is all Doc said. I felt him raise up off the cot. "They are very handsome men." Doc patted my back.

_He knows!_ I put my face into my hands wanting to die. "How do... How am I going to... Oh I'm so embarrassed Doc!"

"They thought you were sick, they didn't notice." Doc tried to sooth me.

"I just kept looking at them like... like... like they were meat." I confessed throwing myself face first into the cot.

"It is natural for a young woman of your age to be... distracted, more so, if they watch the men work down here." I could hear the tease in Doc's voice at the end.

A burst of hysterical laughs rip out of my mouth. "Jamie is only fourteen!" I wailed.

"You're not that much older than Jamie. Anyway, This life grows us up fast, the hard labor makes it show sooner." Doc lifted me back up into a sitting position. "Please don't get embarrassed, but I want to tell you something privet and it may help you." I looked at Doc's stern calm face. He is a nice looking man too. _OH GOD_ what the hell is wrong with me. "You're single, young and vibrant, it is only natural to feel lonely at times and there are things you can do to release some of your... frustration."

I think my brain froze in horror, I know my face showed it, I felt my mouth pop open and eyes go wide. "Doc!" I gasped.

"What? You have hormones it is only natural." He wasn't joking he was calm as ever. _OH. MY. GOD. I. Want. To. Die_. "This is confidential, if anyone asks I'll just say the heat got to you." Doc hugged my side, with a small laugh, at his own joke.

"Thanks." I muttered sliding off the cot.

"You'll feel better soon." Doc called after me.

"Yeah. Sure." I flopped my arm up then back down walking out of the entrance.

I walked slowly toward my room head down feeling stupid.

"Hey Heidi could you bring the water bucket." I heard Wes call from a distance. Some how I became Heidi water bucket girl to everyone. I was about to tell him I wasn't feeling good and was going to go to sleep but instead I looked up. Wes and Jamie was holding the latter for Paige, while she cleaned the mirrors, but my eyes lingered on Wes's rippling arms twitching holding the latter steady.

"Heidi?" Jamie hollered.

"Mm yeah." I shifted my eyes toward him his legs parted for better stance at keeping the latter steady his head turned looking back at me over his shoulder. "Water?" I asked in a lazy dreamy voice.

"Yeah I could use more thank you." Jamie smiled. A beautiful boyish smile his white teeth shining brighter do to his tan skin.

"Where is the bucket?" Wes asked drawing my attention back to him. My eyes raking over his whole body.

"I'll take some water too!" Paige yelled bringing me out of my fog. "Damn hot up here." She continued with a laugh.

"I..I..I'm sorry I'll get everyone some water." I tried to hurry the words out of my mouth before bolting out of the garden area.

I ran the whole way back, to where the guys were digging out the tunnel, for the water bucket.

I didn't hear the pickaxes or the grunts of the guys as they swung them. I found the water bucket by the bottles, but my focus went straight down the tunnel. My head started to swim, Andy lifting an arm full of rocks off the ground piling them into Kyle's already full arms, watching his body as he goes down then back up, his calf muscles flex with each crouch. Kyle blocked my view as he turned walking back towards me with the arm load of rocks. I barely got out-of-the-way as Ian and Jared came from behind me empty-handed but breathing hard making their chests rise and fall.

"Doc figure out what was wrong with you?" Ian lightly elbowed my arm with a wink and wide dazzling smile. I felt all the blood drain out of my face and my throat dry up. Horrified, I quickly grabbed the bucket turning right into Kyle's large bare chest, I felt his pecks, slick with sweat and rock dust, move on my chin with his breathing.

"Sorry!" I gasped out, running.

"No prob kid!" I heard him holler. _Kid_. Again I cursed my shapeless body. I'm only a few years younger than him.

I washed the gritty rock dust off my chin and lower lip before I filled the bucket with water. I walked slowly back to the garden area.

"About time." Wes and Paige said together coming toward me with their bottles. Jamie was leaning the ladder against the far wall before coming to get a fill up.

"I'm going to go find Andy." Paige smiled heading out.

"Okay." Jamie and Wes said together, I waved putting the bucket down.

I stood up then looked toward the guys they had taken their shirts off wiping the sweat off their body. "Pour some water on our shirts." Jamie twisted his shirt up holding it out by both ends towards me, Wes did the same.

"Sure." I did as he asked keeping focus on the bucket, water and shirts. "I need to go refill the bucket." I mumbled more to myself keeping my eyes down.

"Hey before you go could you rub down my back?" Jamie asked like he was asking if I would fill his bottle back up.

"Yeah mine too." Wes extended his dripping shirt towards me.

I took both their shirts. I looked up, the feeling like my brain detached from my body hit me hard. They both turned around at the same time, moving their shoulder blades, waiting for me to wipe the rock dust and sweat from their backs with the cool water. Everything went black.

"Owe." I moaned raising up putting my hand to the back of my head where I hurt the worst.

"Careful don't sit up too fast." Doc's voice told me from across the room.

"What happen?" I groaned looking around.

"Wes and Jamie said you just fell backwards and they brought you here when you didn't wake up." I moaned, wanting to die again, throwing the sheet that was covering my legs over my head. "Here take these, then I'll help you to your room." I peeked out of my sheet, Doc was holding two green liquid-gel-caps out with a glass of water.

I set up with the help of Doc taking the pills then got off the cot. "Thanks." I mumbled.

I kept my eyes down the whole walk not wanting to draw attention to myself, or my attention to any of the guys hard at work. "Here you go I'll have someone bring you something to eat." Doc patted my back before I entered my room.

"Thanks Doc." I mumbled to my feet.

I plopped down on my mat face first putting my pillow over my head. All thoughts drifted back to watching the guys swinging their pickaxes, lifting rocks, stretching, running, flexing, sweating, causing my head to spin slowly and my heart to beat hard and fast.

"Doc told me you might want someone to talk to." Lily's voice came from the entrance. Lily and Trudy both came in. Lily holding a tray of soup and bread. I set up quickly at the sound of Lily's voice, shook my head no at the tray, then stared at both of them. "So you want to talk?" Lily handed Trudy the tray as she set down next to me.

"You know you can trust us." Trudy handed me the tray, with a look as if to say _'Child take it don't even try', _before sitting down on the other side of me.

My heart galloped even more in my chest wondering how much Doc already told them with a touch of anger that he would. "No. I'm fine. It's nothing." I felt my face heat up.

Lily and Trudy both looked at me then each other with a knowing smile. "Don't sound like nothing to me." Trudy swept a clump of hair behind my ear.

"How about we start with you telling us how long have you been feeling strange then?" Lily suggested.

I chewed on my bread so I didn't have to talk. Surely she has to have the same feeling for Wes as he has for her, I can't tell her I was gawking at Wes, too, she'll kill me. Maybe if I leave him out. I took a swig of the soup broth to wash down the bread.

I can not believe I'm going to say this out loud. "For awhile." I confessed then blow out a deep breath before continuing. "After Jeb found me it was Jeb, Doc and me for a while till he found the rest of you, well his family found him." I started tearing my roll up flipping it into the soup. "I mean I didn't use to watch them like that, I swear I didn't. I remember the first day was when Jeb asked Jared, Ian, Kyle, Andy, Jamie and Wes", I drew my hand across my face so Wes came out in a muffled mumble, "to help him chop up the soil in the gardens. I was walking by and he handed me the bucket of water telling me to be ready when someone needed the water or if I seen one of them slowing down turning too red. Very important job Heidi he said." I shook my head from side to side, mixing the soggy bread around in my bowl.

"Mm. Go on sounds like you got more to say." Trudy softly encouraged.

I looked up than back to my bowl. "I started out just watching, but then I was doing more than just watching. They each had a shovel really chopping into the soil, with grunts and their muscles working to the fullest, soon they called for water, when water wasn't enough shirts started coming off, I watched their legs and butts as they stomped down on the shovels, then their back, stomach, side, chest and arm muscles as they turned and chopped the clumps. By the end of the week each guys body seemed to have gained a few inches of hard muscles. I know what your thinking, Jamie and muscles?, but it's true he is more lean, but I noticed while he works his muscles become more defined." I stuffed a spoon full of mushy bread soup mix into my mouth forcing it down more out of embarrassment then really wanting to eat it.

"So you have been to Doc's today twice because you have been watching the guys work?" Trudy smiled taking my empty tray setting it next to the door. I shook my head up and down my face completely on fire now but I couldn't look up.

"You're not alone in the struggle to stay sane around the guys." Lily patted my leg with a small giggle.

"Feels like it." I muttered folding my arms on my knees, slamming my head on to my arms.

"We work along side with the guys too you know. I might be old but I'm not dead." Lily smiled when I peeked out of my arms at her. "I just try to focus even harder on what I am doing. Come on, I can knead dough, talk, and be looking around the room but you put one of guys next to me and suddenly the dough is all I know."

Trudy laughed elbowing me. "I'm sure the other girls feels the same."

Lily smiled lifting my chin up.

"Sharon has Doc and Paige has Andy, like I'm going to ask them." I crossed my arms shaking my head back and forth.

"True." Lily agreed. "That doesn't mean the other guys don't affect them the same." She continued.

"I'm still not asking." I hissed standing up looking at the small holes in the rock wall.

"I remember the first day I came here, after Jeb took me on the tour, I really had to go, I was nearly running I had to go so bad and I didn't know the guys had come back from their raid, well I found out. I know first hand them muscles of Kyle's go all the way down." I turned around to see Lily grabbing her butt nodding with one eyebrow raised.

"What!" My mouth hung open. "I would just die." I gasped.

"I nearly peed my pants between surprise and embarrassment." She shrugged, throwing her hands in the air. "I couldn't look at him for a week."

"That is nothing. Okay well it is something, _wow,_ more than something, Mm mm to be a fly on th.. Mm, but anyway." Trudy let out a few laughs trying to get her thoughts together. "You know that raid when they got the battery-powered radio. Well before the batteries ran out. I heard the music playing in the game room so I wondered in there and let me tell you Ian and Kyle both have some nice sexy little dance moves. Not that they were dancing together, like Paige and Andy or Sharon and Doc. I would need more than a trip to Doc's office... anyway. I stood there for who knows how long before Ian turned and seen me they both stopped. I don't even know if anyone else was in the room and seen me gawking, so I tried to act like I was only walking by, I tell you I never exited the game room so fast in my life." Trudy laughed and we join her.

It felt great laughing and took awhile before we could settle back down. "Just wait till you fantasize about them, then you'll never be able to look at the target of your fantasy the same ever again." Lily bit her bottom lip as if she let something slip.

"Who!" I almost squealed in a demand.

She waved her hand shaking her head back and forth. "You know I bet even Jeb cleans up nice, if he'd shave off that blasted bristle-bush he claims is a beard." Lily mock whispered clearly trying to change the subject.

"Ewe! He's old." I blanched.

"Well I'm no spring chicken so I can appreciate an older man's body and nothing sags on him either." Lily put her hands on her hips. Trudy elbowed her, we started laughing all over again.

"What's going on in here?" Maggie popped her head in with a smile.

"The usual." Trudy stated raising an eyebrow.

"Welcome our newest member." Lily hugged my side and the feeling of needing a crack to fall into and die came back full force.

Sharon followed by Paige came in with big stupid grins. "So you are finally going to admit the guys are looking hot these days." Paige set down next to me half knocking me over. I rolled my eyes, she is always asking if I like any certain guy and I just lie and say I haven't really noticed them that much. More like they haven't noticed me if I didn't carry the water around they wouldn't even know my name. Paige thumped the side of my head with the pads of her fingers, bringing me out of my pity-party. "Hey I love Andy with all my heart nothing will ever change that, but my eyes wander around. I'm not blind to the amount of rocks forming." Paige burst out laughing.

"A man sister." Sharon wobbled her head, smiled throwing a hand in the air and fanning herself with the other.

"So spill." Paige demanded right as others walked in but I was too shocked to look up.

"Spill what? It's not like it was a certain one it was all of them." I throw my hands over my ears and head on my knees.

"Exactly so spill." Sharon giggled.

I looked up and around. I realized the room was filled with all the human females we know to exist in the world. My whole body shook with nerves, my face burning but my fingers felt ice-cold. "I..I Well..I..um..Today when.." I stopped talking when we heard foot steps outside the door.

"Oh good a hen party." Jeb stepped in. "Sorry Paige and Sharon but I'll be using the boys throughout the night we got that tunnel nearly finished and I would like it done before daybreak. They wanted me to tell you that. Like I got nuttin' better ta do then be a messenger. Pffth. Ladies" Jeb nodded then backed out of the room.

"All clear." Maggie said coming back in. "Where was we?" Maggie laughed sitting next to Sharon looking at me.

"Miss Heidi was about to tell us what she got to see today." Sharon put her elbow on her knee tapping her fingers on the side of her face batting her lashes at me.

"You heard Jeb, that is what I seen, and Paige you were with Jamie and Wes when I came in." I looked around then motioned to Paige.

"Was their shirts on or off?" She questioned. _Like she didn't know_.

"Started on. Kyle was the first to take his off, I almost caught his elbow with my face. Don't think I would have felt it till later. Jared took his off walking towards me an all I could think was..." I bit down on my lip to stop myself. Like they was going to let me stop.

"And what, _come on_, all you could think was what?" Paige nearly strangled me.

"I need a dollar...to tuck." I confessed, that was followed by some hoots and _Mmm_, and _that boy does have a good swagger_. "I know!" I wailed covering my face.

"His arms raised reveling his ripped stomach, that swagger in his step. Jeez you're lucky your heart did not explode, I think mine would have." Sharon was back to fanning her face again so was some of the others.

I took a deep breath before going on."Ian and Andy took their shirts off at the same time but luckily while they were still in the tunnel or my heart would have given out. Just watching it from a distance and just their backs, my legs buckled under me. That is when Jamie came in. He is such a cute boy, tan lean the face of an angel really, I know I know he's younger than me but I go stupid every time he talks to me, then he ran off and _wow_ that boy has a nice butt." I peeked around it looked like everyone was thinking over something. "Guess you guys really never looked at Jamie that way huh?" I bit my lip even more embarrassed for noticed Jamie that way.

"You know, with the other guys guess I did over look him, now that you brought it up... Hum Jamie... Yeah he's a hottie in the making." Paige was looking up thinking nodding her head so was Sharon. Suddenly Paige looked down at me with a wide grin. "SEE YOU DID NOTICE SOMEONE YOU LIAR!" She whacked me in the face with my pillow.

Soon we all were telling encounters of watching the guys work, how much we have noticed they changed. We all agreed Kyle and Jared were already built, but living here has really chiseled them up.

What started out the worst best day ever, turned into the truly bestest day ever. A true sisterhood formed. Sure Okay maybe it should be named, The Last Sisterhood of the Naughty Human Females, after all we still do get together every chance we have, we don't swap recipes or coupons, but with all the fine meat roaming around, we always have a lot to talk about. I'm sure the guys get together and talk just as vulgar about the girls. Not me because I'm invisible, but I'm sure Paige and Sharon are the topic of some of their powwows. Not that they ever talk much about that kind of stuff when I am around.


	2. Spend a few days in Jamie's head

**This chapter I'm blaming on (**_grr she keeps changing her name_**) Leiaa768! ****Only the idea. The flub ups, bad spelling, horrible grammar, missus of everything a real writer uses and if I didn't do Jamie's voice right that is all my fault. On the edge of rated M without using rated M words of course. sorry. I'm just having fun with Mrs. Meyer's babies in her wonderful world she created. I of course own nothing.**

**(Jamie)**

"Ugh!" I heard Heidi groan as she set the crate of dirty dishes down hard. "Of all the chores around here." She grumbled followed by a hard splashing sound. "Ugh!" She grumbled under her breath again, followed by the sound of a wet dishcloth slapping against a plate. I slipped in staying in the dark, watching her in the blue halo of the lanterns, for a while. I watched as she frowned and could hear her bickering under her breath, her white-blond-hair glowing neon, shimmered while turning her head rolling her eyes and scrubbing the dishes with a little more force than needed.

"Hey Heidi, water." I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, I could tell being the official water girl pissed her off at times. She huffed than pushed the crate of wet clean dishes over, quickly standing up. "You want water?" She snapped. Yep she's pissed, but I could see a hint of the evil grin she gets when she's up to something.

I think she needs to cool off. I couldn't hold in the snicker that escaped.

Suddenly without thinking, I was pushing her backwards, both of us splashing into the pool, her legs and arms still floating upwards tangling with her hair, tons of tiny bubbles started foaming around us. She fought her way back up gasping air when she hit the surface. I dunked her back down. She clutched until she grab a hold of a handful of my hair. She twisted in the water dunking me down, my butt hit the bottom, knocking my air out. I quickly freed myself from her hold putting her into a head lock than submerging us back under the water. She wrapped her legs and arms around me to keep me under. I had to think about baseball, old ladies in granny panties with back boils, to keep from her feeling the true reason I pick on her.

Soon we were laughing between gasps of air, which caused a problem, I couldn't think of anything to distract me from everything about her. "Come on we need to wash up!" Kyle bellowed from outside the entrance, along with some of the others grumbles. _Saved by Kyle's big mouth_.

We laughed getting out still pulling each other back in when we got almost out. "Truce?" I slugged her arm almost sending her back into the water, when we actually got both feet on sorta dry ground.

"Yeah truce." She pushed me for the punch to her arm.

I watched her in the blue glow, bend down quickly grabbed the crate of now double rinsed dishes, her short cut off jean shorts, dripped small streams of water down the length of her legs and her red T-shirt clung to _every detail_ of her upper body, causing my problem to come back. _Granny panties, old lady with back boils, back boils, popping old lady back boils, old man hairy butt boils._

I had to repeat that to myself over and over as we sloshed our way out, past the line of dirty dark purple people. They just got back from helping, the other pocket of people like us, open up some room in their tunnels. Mel wouldn't let me go, which I'm happy about now.

I ran to get the scythe, Jeb wants me to cut down the dried up corn stalks, which I should have already been doing.

Before I got to the entrance, I heard my sister Wanda ask Heidi, what she wanted her, to pick up for her, from her for my birthday. _It wont hurt to spy._ Heidi mumbled "A magnifying glass and rear-view mirror." _What would I do with them? _Does she think I am that little of a kid? I'll be eighteen. Guess she thinks I'm wanting to go burn some ants or something. I lifted my arms cursing my muscles or lack of. I see the way she looks at the other guys. "Excuse me?" Wanda asked what I would like to ask. "I do not think I heard what you said." I could hear paper being folded.

"I heard him say he would like to have the last book in this saga he has read." She said dismissively. I wondered if she misses when we use to lay in the corn garden next to each other while I told her about the stories. _I do._

It's only been a year and few months but, I really missed how she smiled and her eyes would sparkle, at me, when I would use my arms and hands to describe different things. Hell, I would have read the damn books to her if I thought she would let me, just to get a glimpse of her smiles and see her relax next to me. What I missed the most was how it felt like I had a best friend, that wasn't at that moment, asking for something or how many times one of the new girls bent over wearing a shirt you could see down, or what my cousin Sharon or sisters Mel or Wanda was doing. Jared and Ian are so over protective. I can see Ian being protective but Jared, hell Mel could kick any guy's ass here, now that Wanda is out of her. But Nobody tops Kyle in the over protective department, he almost becomes a major jerk over Sunny. He punched me in the gut for bumping into her, which is how I found out Mel could kick any guy's ass she gave him double black eyes and a bruised tailbone for gut punching me.

Ugh!" I heard Heidi grunt, forcefully setting on the ground in the middle of the dried up corn stalks, next to her lantern. I watched as she laid back to quick I could see and hear she almost knocked the wind out of herself before folding her arms staring at the night sky in the mirrors. After the first book my feelings toward her changed really quick, many ...um... thoughts involved her and the cornfield. _Back boils, popping old lady back boils, old men hairy butt boils._

I had to keep thinking of the gross things before I could walk between the stalks to where she lay.

"There you are." I plopped down next to her pretending to just have found her. "I was supposed to come find you to help me." I poked her stomach with the handle of the sickle.

"Really." She set up quickly reaching for the sickle, which I pulled back to myself. _Don't think so_, Jeb would kill me. "Oh." She laid back down as quick as she did before, folding her arms at the same time, this time, she did knock a whoosh of air out. My eyes went straight to her damp shirt and the slight jiggle the impact caused. _Putrid toe jam, long yellow gnarled toe nails, rotten chicken._

I quickly set my eyes on her hands. "We can wait a few hours if you're afraid holding the bucket will rip your skin after washing the dishes." I chuckled then nudged her arm with the sickle handle.

She set up with a heavy sigh. "No we better get started or Jeb will rip both our skin and not the skin on our hands ether." I can see Jeb whipping us, which caused me to smile a little to huge. _Uncle Jeb just may be nutty enough_. "My hands stay wet making sure you workers get enough to drink anyway." She stood up rolling her eyes. I had to adjust myself cause when she stood my head was turned just right to see the start of the bottom half of her butt and a smidgen of dark lace. I almost groaned, because she can turn me on with just one movement. The other guys snicker and roll their eyes if I tell them I got to see a glimpse of too much of her skin, sure she may not fill out clothes the way the other girls do but her body is hot, not too much of anything the perfect amount of butt, breast and thighs, more than just that turns me on about her but the other guys just wanna know about them parts when that kind of talking gets started.

I sighed standing up next to her. "Yeah you're right Uncle Jeb would be steamed at me." Then elbowed her taking off for the edge of the cornfield. _Steamed_ did I just say steamed. _Dork!_

"Hey!" I heard her gasp behind me with a small laugh chasing me.

I laughed holding my sickle up. "Get the water bucket, wimpy." I teased hacking through a few stalks in the first row.

I heard a fake growl from behind me. "I'm not wimpy. I could do that if anyone would let me." I turned to see her arms folded across her chest frowning. "You get the water bucket." She pouted, even jutting out her bottom lip. _Gnarled yellow toe jammed toe nails, pus filled back boils._

Once I was... under control. I smiled big offering her the sickle which she took quicker then I expected. "Fine. I could use the brake." I fake stomped away with a chuckle.

When I returned she was still hacking away, she got a good distance and I was enjoying watching her hard at work, way too much. When she stopped and turned to look back at me I held the bucket low in front of me trying to control my wide grin that was plastered on my face. When she spotted me her face lite up, proud of herself for her work. "Water please." She giggled. I brought the large ladle instead of a bottle so I could... keep myself hidden if I need to and yep I needed to. She took the ladle drinking it all in one gulp. "Thanks, that hit the spot." She did an evil grin clutching the sickle to her chest before turning to skip back to where she stopped.

I realized just how bored she must get, only getting to hold the bucket waiting for someone to get thirsty, she was doing a really good job and quick, which made me wonder why Jeb always insisted she sit back and carry the bucket. I was happy to hold the bucket and watch her work. After an hour her whole body had a sheen of sweat she had tied her T-shirt above her belly button and twisted the sleeves throw her bra straps and her hair into a messy bun. My underwear and jean shorts threaten to rip right down the middle and my heart out of my ribcage. Dammit! I don't think I'll be able to wait till everyone goes to bed tonight before I sneak off to the game room.

Heidi stopped chopping, turning the sickle in circles in the air. "Having fun Jamie?" She asked breathlessly with a smile walking towards me still twirling the sickle.

"Yep." Is all I could safely say, all my blood in a different area, my heart crashing in my chest and my mouth and throat felt dry. My heart galloping even harder in my chest, hoping she can't hear it, or know why I'm holding the bucket oddly. I quickly got a gulp of water before re-dipping and getting her a ladle full.

She quickly drank it down. "More please." She dipped the ladle instead of handing it back then drank that one down too. "I guess I see how important my job is, but still why can't I rotate like everyone else." She dipped the ladle again then set down next to my feet. She did something I thought she would never feel comfortable doing, she leaned against my legs, the side of her face on my knee cap, her breathing made her face move, and I could feel her breath on my other knee cap, it all sent me over the edge.

"I need to use the restroom!" I blurted stepping back, setting the bucket down, she almost fell sideways before catching herself.

I ran not stopping till I was in the pitch blackness of the game room.

The run didn't help nor did the foul odor of the water. I was a total slave to how much I liked and wanted her, seeing and feeling her drenched in sweat and her hair falling messily around her face combine that with that damn cornfield, part of my fantasy came to life. One hand griped hard rough volcanic rock, the other ...hardness of a softer kind. Thoughts of her in the cornfield ran wild, I didn't stop them, I welcomed them, let them surround me, till I was no longer feeling ether hardness, just me and her. I bit my lip to keep from moaning her name or from making any sound at all for that matter. I could taste blood on my lip and feel the jagged scraps on my hand. How am I going to explain that.

I walked out like nothing embarrassing went on in there for all anyone knows I had to pee really bad, and the sweat is from working. _This could work_. I slipped grabbed the wall and bit my lip. That could happen. Right? Of course, happens all the time.

When I got back Heidi was hard at work again.

I had to look anywhere but where she was working. I then started to wonder if that is why she starts out watching the other guys then later I see her staring at the walls or floor. God, why can't she think of me that way, cause I am just a kid with a big stupid crush. _How did this happen_.

My mind wandered back to the best memories I have of this place, besides getting my sister back and adding one.

I remembered Mel and Jared kicking me out of our room. Ian wanting privacy with Wanda. Kyle and Sunny was working on some things. Doc and Sharon was rekindling after she kicked him out. Everyone seemed to be in need of being together alone.

I went out to the middle of the corn garden to read and be out of everyone's way. When I heard someone walking through the stalks, I looked up to see Heidi stop startled. "What are you doing in here?" She snapped at me like I walked up on her.

I looked around then back up to her. "Trying to stay out of everyone's way, while they work out their relationships." I confessed with a shrug.

She looked behind her then back at me. "Me too." She admitted with a sigh, before sitting down next to me.

After a short awkward silence she shifted taking a deep breath than letting it out. "Jamie I'm really sorry about how I treated Wanda to begin with." She looked at me then down at the dirt. "I mean, it was cruel of me. I hope you can forgive me like Wanda has." She started picking at the dirt clumps. "I mean I'll understand if you don't. Can't. Whichever." She let some dirt flow throw her fingers.

I studied her down cast face for a second then sighed. "Jeb said, everyone had their own way of dealing with the souls and it takes longer for most to see past the prejudiced, just like the souls only believed humans was all monsters." I started tracing lines in the dirt. "I'm not mad at anyone over Wanda anymore. Jeb set me down to a really long talk." I laughed shaking my head.

"Yeah he can be a talker when he is passionate about something." Heidi and I both laughed rolling our eyes doing the chatty-hand-PAC-Man. "Pinch-Poke-You-Owe-Me-A-Coke." She did the whole pinching my arm than poking it.

I grinned at her. "Well if they ever let me go back on a raid, that will be first on my list." I promised which made her smile big.

Her smile slipped as she looked down poking her fingers into the dirt. "At least you've been on a few raids." She mumbled under her breath but loud enough that I heard it just barely.

Soon we started talking about our lives before the souls the rest of the day into night.

Everyday we would met in the corn garden. I started telling her about what I was reading, only after she asked of course.

The second book is when things started to stir.

"The trees all glow and waved..." I waved my arms in the air.

"Did they glow different colors, or all the same just getting brighter than dimmer?" She stopped me mid-sentence by taking my hand that was in the air, pulling it down keeping a hold of it.

I was stunned by the look on her face, the softness of her grip on my hand, the way she set up looking straight into my eyes, her's sparkling, like she was really interested and looking for more detail. My face started to burn, all thought of what I was saying was gone, a development had risen to full attention. I was no longer looking at a just a friend. I _wanted _her.

She kept a hold of my hand asking something else I didn't catch, my heart started pounding louder in my ears, because in that moment, she slid her hand down just a bit I felt her soft skin brush my wrist, her warm breath blow across the side of my face, her eyes looked deeper into mine then she shifted leaning closer towards me my eyes were drawn to her lips as her smile grow. The most sinful thoughts popped into my mind. Thoughts I'd never had about any other girl, thoughts of her body, her soft skin touching mine, her breath hot and ragged against mine, all these thoughts stunned me, with the force they raged though my mind.

I jumped up and ran all the way to the latrine, jumping the boiling river, nearly tumbled down to the latrine part. The run had helped, the near fall had helped too, the confusion and embarrassment helped the most. I stood panting with my forehead on the rough walls, pounding my fists against the wall, internally scolding myself for wanting to do things to her. Not with her. _to her_, that was the worst part.

I don't know what I looked like when I came out, but it must have been bad because, Ian pulled me into the hall of bedroom tunnels. "You look like hell." He chuckled.

I huffed a laugh. "I feel like shit, if that helps." I mumbled remembering the thoughts that ran like wild-fire just minutes before.

He leaned against the wall looking me over. "Well I would say by the way you ran to the latrine, and the purple dust on your forehead and hands." He raised an eyebrow grinning. "Girl troubles." He stated nodding his head. My face burned hotter than I thought possible wiping at my forehead and hands.

Ian turned walking down the hall to open the red door, then waved me in. I slowly followed.

He set down then patted the space next to him. I plopped down staring at the floor.

"Jamie you have nothing to be ashamed about, you're a teenage boy." Ian nudged my arm. _Kill me he does know_. I groaned slamming my head on my knees arms limp to my side. Ian cleared his throat. "Look we all may have slipped into the latrine or game room for some privet time." He whispered clasping my shoulder with a slight shake. _Really? _Ian or any of the other guys needing to_ do that._ "My only advice for you is to think of baseball, if that doesn't work think of the sickest things you can while you're around the person that had you racing off to the latrine." Ian stood up patting my back then kicked my foot. _Baseball, sick things_ how the hell is that going to help. "Cheer up kid." He ruffled my hair. "You're human, we have needs, okay wants." He laughed before walking out. Wants is the understatement of the year, felt more like demands. "Just be glad it wasn't Kyle that caught up to you first." He turned back looking at me through the entrance rolling his eyes. Kyle is more vocal about thing. Damn I did dodged a bullet. He would probably described things in crude detail or even draw things in the dirt. _Or worse_.

"Thanks Ian." I stood up smiling. I did feel a little more relieved, but only a little. Baseball, sick things, Baseball , Sick things. I repeated in my head over and over as I started to walk out.

"Anytime kid, 'sides what are brothers for." He thumped my back as I walked past. "Oh and if Jared ever wants to sit you down for _'the talk'_ don't say anything about this little talk, he might get a little pissed, not at you but at me."

I froze a little confused. "What? The talk?" The look on Ian's face told me what talk he meant. "Oh!" I started to rub the back of my neck, I remembered mom giving Mel _'the talk'_ but I only remembered them talking about periods and babies. "Can you not tell Jared you seen me like this." I couldn't look up at him. "Or Mel."

"Sure kid, not a word, you have my word." He pushed me toward the hall. "Now go be with your girl." He laughed. "Baseball!" He called after me I waved over my head, without turning around, running back toward the corn garden.

A horrible thought entered my mind. Does he know who I like? If not would he think I'm stupid for liking an older girl? They didn't mind Wes and Linda that age gap was bigger.

I walked through the stalks to find, Heidi had laid on her back with her arms behind her head a small smile on her face looking up, I looked up to see stars shinning in the mirrors. I laid down next to her. "Sorry about running out I really had to go. Um.. Where was we?" I asked hoping she wasn't mad.

"You were telling me about the glowing trees." She raised her hands weaving them back and forth, still looking at the stars. She was relaxed and smiling and wanting to know more about something I liked, making my heart leap out of my chest.

After that day I would simply roll over on my stomach and if thing got too heated for me, I would have to think about baseball scores and maggot filled potatoes before I could start talking to her again, then tell her I was trying to remember certain things or lines when in truth I knew the books by heart.

_That's how it happened._ I miss us like that, just us.

I sighed, quickly blinking the sting out of my eyes, the guys would make fun of me and tell me to stop being such a puss.

"Earth to water boy." Heidi crouched down in front of me looking at me. "See boring as hell." She laughed taking the ladle then standing back up to drink.

"Yeah, I'll try to let you do my chores when Jeb isn't around." I stood up holding the bucket out, so she could get some more water.

She dropped the ladle back in smiling big. "That would be so sweet of you." Then she set down, extending her legs, leaning back, arms straight out behind her, her chest rising and falling harder than usual. _Hairy butt boils, pus fill butt boils, maggot filled toe jam._

"let's go get a bath." She stood up quickly dusting off then took the bucket. "Hope we don't run into Jeb." She laughed with a nervous touch to it.

When we got to the latrine I stopped letting her go first. "Jamie I don't bite you can come in too." -_wait what?-_ "I have to wash these clothes and yours is filthy too so it's not like we will be naked." _Of course not, damn_. She pulled me with her.

The day ended how it started. I pushed her into the pool but this time she was ready and grabbed my arm pulling me in.

When we settled down to soap our clothes up it became quiet, well as quiet as it could over the river.

"Jamie?" There was a rawness in her voice that almost scared me.

"Yeah?, are you Okay?" I asked looking over at her as she got out setting on the edge of the pool looking down with her hands under her thighs. I walked over hopping up to set next to her.

She leaned her head on my shoulder then sighed, "Thank you."

Two simple words but the way she said it made my heartbreak and soar at the same time. Without thinking or answering I put my arm around her pulling her closer to my side she didn't protest or pull away. We stayed like that for a while not talking.

"I got to piss dammit." Kyle bellowed. _Dammit_! This time I wasn't glad Kyle was rushing us out.

"We better get out before Kyle throws us out." Heidi set up with a small snicker shaking her head. "Or worse pees on us."

We both burst out laughing then stood up.

We were both yawning before we got to the kitchen. We ate in a peaceful silence.

"I'm actually so worn out I can probably fall straight to sleep tonight." Heidi whispered smiling big at me. "Goodnight Jamie." She squeezed my shoulder then stood up.

"I guess I got bored enough maybe sleep will come easy for me too." I whisper back standing following her toward the sleeping tunnel.

She stopped at her entrance then looked at me then down to her feet then at her entrance. "Goodnight Jamie. Thanks again."

"Goodnight Heidi." My voice almost gave out on her name before I stepped into my room as she stepped into hers.

I changed into a pair of sweat pants and a worn-out shirt before laying down. Only I couldn't sleep.

I set on my mat thinking about today. I laid down quickly facing the wall when I heard my two younger roommates voice's down the hall. The boys just a muffled buzz as all my thoughts went back to Heidi.

When I did start to drifted. I swore to myself I would find a way to let her do something other than hold the bucket all the time. A small part of me swore it out of selfishness and jealousy. I didn't want her to see and think about the other guys like I did her today.

Thinking of her running off to a dark quiet place, made me grin stupidly.

Before I had to think about baseball and gross thing. I reminded myself she doesn't watch me like that, I don't have the muscles the other guys have I suddenly hated the thought of her running off to a dark place now, only because she would be running off because the other guys had turned her on.

I flipped over on my mat frustrated.

The small hope I thought I had when we were sitting on the edge of the pool tonight faded.

I did fall to sleep sometimes before I was being woke by Kyle's big mouth yelling. "Wake the hell up. I want to get back here before dark." Then he thumped on the doors, walls and shook the folding wall dividers.

"We're up, shut the hell up Kyle." Ian yelled.

"Fuck off Kyle." Jared and Mel yelled together.

"I'm up I'm up." Paige grumbled out in the hall. "Give us a second."

I changed back into the clothes I wear to work in. When I stepped out Jeb frowned at me. "Why is there still stalks standing in my garden?" He demanded scratching under his beard.

I looked at the ground then back up at Jeb. "It's only a few rows I'll get right on it. I um.."

"It's my fault Jeb, I had him help me and we lost track of time." Heidi stood next to me, saving me from a long speach about responsibility.

Jeb eyed her then nodded. "Well stop yammering and gawking at me and get to breakfast." Jeb turned heading toward the kitchen.

"Thanks." I mouthed, she winked.

When Jeb was out of sight Heidi made a weird happy sound. Before I could turn she jumped on my back arms around my neck I automatic caught her legs wrapping them around my waist so she could hold on. "Do I get to help you? Please, please, please." She squeezed tighter around my neck.

I laughed, making a choking noise. "Only if you want." I teased, causing her to bounce and hug tighter. I've had a fantasy like this only she was in front of me. _Gnarled yellow toe nails, hairy infected butt boils, rotten potatoes._

"Are you okay Jamie?" Heidi loosened her grip sliding off my back.

"Perfect why?" I smiled too wide when she stepped in front of me.

She smiled putting her hand on the side of my face. "You looked like you zoned out, you do that a lot you know." _SHIT!_ she does notice. She bit down on her bottom lip looking at me then shrugged looking down then back at me opening her mouth as if to say something, but she never did, she turned and started walking.

"Oh look, oatmeal and toast." I elbowed her before she dipped her bowl.

"And here I was worried we would have toast and oatmeal today." She giggled putting a piece of dry toast on my tray.

"We can take turns so nether of us get bored." Heidi leaned towards me whispering.

"Works for me." I whispered back, noticing she was eating faster than she usually does. "In a hurry?" I finished my breakfast quickly too.

Heidi almost jumped up to put her bowl and tray in the crate taking mine I had to snatch my toast quickly off. She took off toward the latrine. I went to the garden. After she was done washing the dishes I would let her take over my work unless Jeb was around.

Everyday we worked together like this while the others helped in the other group's tunnels.

"Happy Birthday Jamie!" Heidi hugged me as I stepped out of my room.

"Thanks." I hugged her back not wanting to let go but I had to everyone else was coming out telling me Happy birthday and patting or hugging me.

"Our storage room is getting low and because it's your birthday you can go with Wanda on a raid." Jeb thumped my back almost sending me to the ground. "Happy birthday kid."

"Thanks. Really?" I felt the big happy grin spread. "Did you OK it with Mel." I leaned forward toward Jeb.

"My house, my rules kid." Jeb stood tall crossing his arms. "You get to pick who you want to take." Jeb turned walking toward the food counter, while I gaped after him. _Me?_ _Choose the team_.

I thought about our best raiders. Jared, Mel, Ian, Paige and Andy. Not Kyle he lives for trouble.

"I'll miss us working together, guess it's back to water girl while you're out." Heidi shrugged then she crunched down on her jelly smeared toast. "Oh Hey don't forget my coke." She elbowed me with a laugh.

"Heidi?" I said a little too fast and loud causing me to duck my head soon as I did. She turned to look at me with her toast held to her mouth between her teeth mid-crunch. "You want to come with me? I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought maybe you would like to get out for once."

She didn't answer she stared at me still holding her toast to her mouth. "Heidi?" I waved my hand in front of her, her toast fall and I seen her eyes wobble with tears forming.

"You mean it? You would take me?" Her voice was barely a whisper I could see her trying to blink back the tears.

"My birthday. My rules." I copied Jeb crossing my arms then smiled then hugged her without thinking.

I felt her arms slid along my ribcage and her fingers twist my shirt on my back. "Thank you Jamie," Her hands and arms loosen their hold as if her whole body slumped, "but I know Jeb wont let me go." She whimpered on my shoulder and collarbone.

I pushed her back jutting my jaw out like I always do when my mind is set. "My birthday. My rules." I repeated louder she smiled her eyes sparkling at me. _I would take her anywhere she asked_. I let out a deep breath nodding my head.

It turned out that most everyone had some much-needed things to do for the other group of people so our raid party was four. Wanda, Ian, Heidi and me. Heidi only after I argued with Jeb for an hour, everything I said to him he would say, no, nope, absolutely not. Then playing dirty I asked why he never wanted her to do anything she is a really good worker and she enjoys it, it's not fair to her or the others, then Jeb told me the real reason, and I found out Jeb is a real softy. He told me Heidi was the first young girl they found and to him she is the daughter he never had, and wanted everything for her. He thought of her as being delicate and fragile, then threaten my life with his gun if I ever told her. I'm just glad she is not for real his daughter, that would be some sick backwoods hillbilly shit, I don't date family. Okay okay yeah I know we anit dating. I don't ..._have thoughts_... about my family.

Raids have become boring, just hours of sitting out in the back of the van waiting, while Wanda shopped, then quickly stacking the stuff in the van while Wanda watches out. Eating fast food then the idea we would be sleeping in real beds was the best part.

Ian set up front when we were on long stretches of the highways.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?" Heidi asked leaning on my shoulder.

"Best one yet." I laid my head on top of hers then felt her fingers on my arm sliding down to my hand.

She entwined her fingers with mine, my heart thumped wildly in my chest, then she laid her other over top with a squeeze. "I'm glad you are." I heard her sigh and felt her shoulders rise and fall with the effort.

We set in the dark bumping along still holding hands and leaning on each other, it was so relaxing.

Ian opening the back doors startled me awake. "Hurry." He hissed turning to slip into the motel door. I seen Wanda stood between the van door and the motel door looking around.

The room was nice, warm and clean. We took turns showering and played cards while waiting on our turn in the shower.

Ian laid down on the bed close to the window so I plopped down next to him getting ready to pull the blanket over me. "Get out of our bed kid. You think I want to lay next to you." He thumped me in the back of the head. "I like to sprawl out and there is only one person.." He cut off crawling to the foot of the bed where Wanda stood pulling her to him. "I want to sprawl out with." He cooed in her ear, making her giggle.

"This chair is soft I'll take it you take the bed." I smiled at Heidi starting to pull a pillow and the sheet off.

"Lay down Jamie I don't bite." She snapped holding the sheet down then slipped under the blanket.

"I.. but.. um." I fumbled. _This is going to be a long ass night._

"Jamie." Heidi sighed patting the space next to her rolling her eyes.

I laid down stiff as a board not wanting to move in an indecent way.

Ian clicked the light off when they paused in their making out. "Shit we forgot to get the truck." He blurted in the dark.

"We'll get it in the morning." Wanda whispered then yawned. "I'm sleepy."

After a few hours of thinking about baseball, and gross rotting thing I could hear Ian and Wanda was in deep sleep. I tried not to focus on Heidi. _Epic fail_.

I did drift off.

I felt Heidi get out of bed, that startled me awake. I looked around it was still dark in the room but I noticed when Heidi opened the bathroom door flicking on the light, that the lumps in Ian and Wanda's bed was gone.

"Is it morning already?" I asked when Heidi laid back down.

"Yeah Ian and Wanda just left." _Did they lock the door.. what am I thinking of course they did_. She scooted over to me. I looked up, trying to think of gross things again, when I felt her against my side. I noticed that the ceiling was covered in patches of them fake glow in the dark stars, I didn't notice last night because I was focused on not focusing, failing miserably of course.

"Jamie, if you could have one wish come true, for your birthday, anything at all, what would you wish?" Her voice sounded sad so I didn't remind her my birthday was yesterday so I'll play along.

I looked back up at the ceiling, in that moment I had only one thought, one wish, my eyes started to sting, blurring the cluster of the stars over head. "You'll make fun of me."

I felt her shift again then her hand laid on the side of my face, her fingers brushed through the wetness as a tear escaped down the side of my eye trailing to my ear. "Oh Jamie your crying I would never make fun of something that means so much to you, never." She shifted laying her head on my shoulder sliding her hand down resting it on my neck, her arm resting on my chest, I moved my arm wrapping it around her shoulders then my other hand laid on her elbow that lay over my chest. "My wish is probably silly compared to yours then." I felt her shoulders slump taking another deep breath then releasing it. "What do you wish Jamie?" She whispered sending goosebumps over my whole body.

"To be in a memory." I whispered over the lump that formed in my throat, between her closeness, my embarrassment that I was going to admit I'm a stupid kid with the biggest crush on her, and the sudden sadness I may lose her as a friend. She'll probable jump out of bed once I start or out of the room I don't want to lose her as a friend but I can't bottle this up anymore.

"Of being with your family?" I felt her head tilt upwards as if to look at me. "I'm sorry I should have known not to ask something like that... I've just been thinking... being selfish." Heidi mumbled the last part tilting her head back down.

"I do miss my family but.." I swallowed over the dry lump that kept growing in my throat. "I.. I don't want you to be mad... Please I wont say anything about it again after today if it upsets you for me to tell you." I squeezed her shoulder and elbow once taking a deep breath. _It's now or never._

"Why would I get upset? It's your wish Jamie." I felt her shrug against me and her head tilt back up.

"Remember when we use to lay in the corn garden and we would talk?" I ask taking a deep breath then looking back up at the blurred stars. I felt her head turn up as if to look at the ceiling to. "I miss you. Us. The way we were." My voice gave out to a whisper. Heidi gasped next to me I felt her suddenly raise, I released her shoulder and elbow. _Please don't go_. "I'm sorry Heidi I didn't mean to... If you just want me to think of you as a friend and nothing more I w..."

"Jamie." She stopped my apology. Her hand was back on the side of my face, her other under my other arm, I felt her hair over me seconds before her lips crashed into mine. I wrapped an arm around her ribcage and back holding her tight, my other hand wandered across her face to the back of her head. My heart stuttered and jumped sending shocks through my veins. Her lips parted, I felt her breath and tasted her tongue, the flood gates opened, I was crying against her mouth. I turned my head keeping my face against hers holding her tighter to me shaking with the sudden emotions the memory and her kissing me dug up.

She pulled us into a sitting position in the middle of the bed. "I've been in love with you for too long Jamie." She whispered in my ear. "Longer then I should have." She cried with a bit of an odd laugh, tucking her head in the crook of my neck and shoulder.

We just kissed admitting loving each other, and are holding each other in the middle of a real bed and I'm not having to talk my lower half down with thoughts of baseball and maggot filled potatoes. What the hell?

"I can never thank you enough for choosing me to come on this raid with you." She raised her head, sliding her hands along my neck, one hand her fingers tangling in the back of my hair the other holding my jaw brushing a thumb along my chin, kissing me more passionately then the first kiss. Spoke to soon. _Hairy butts, infected butt boils, gnarled chewed up brown toenails, rotten chicken guts._ I may want her this way so bad it hurts but I damn sure am not taking advantage of her like she owed me this way. "Thank you Jamie." She placed a soft sweet kiss on my neck, then another a little way above that one. _Hairy butt_... Oh who am I kidding, who cares why...

Clothes stared flying.

Lets just say before, Ian and Wanda got back, Heidi was in need of Doc. Embarrassingly I found out too late I should have had '_the talk'_ with Jared, he may have warned me there is a difference in... _um force and speed_.. used and work up to, between the real thing and the late night runs into the darkness of the game room or latrine. She was a little pissed at my moment of brain detachment. I have gashes on my back and teeth marks on my shoulder she still wont let Doc heal. Good news the black eye and the fractured jaw is healed, that actually came from Ian, he thought I was ..._um with Heidi_... against her will. That is where the embarrassment came in. Buck naked getting pulled away and my face punched in at the same time. So much for a romantic first time.


End file.
